Insert Fancy Latin Title Here
by Caramello Kennedy
Summary: 0 hours sleep, coffee, and a lack of sanity. We bring you - The time warp, moulded buns and snacks that have social lives. This is Slash, and has been rated for language. no flames.


Harry Potter was not a vicious creature

Um this has reference to Moulin Rouge, (I don't know who the original song is by, but that lines in zhe Elephant love medley so it will have to do) The Used – I'm a fake, Time warp from Rocky horrors picture show (ahhh lightening! jumps out of chair its loud……..), DBZ, Cascada - Every Time We Touch, and Scrubs?(I know some of it was at least influenced by it.) part of it was also influenced by black books… but don't ask how.

Harry Potter was not a vicious creature. He only killed when he deemed it necessary…. Or well, when he was hungry. But there was just something about that boy… Cedric Diggory was just like coffee to him. He had to have it, or there would be unpleasant ramifications for whoever was in a five mile radius.

So there he was lying on top of said boy… covered in his blood, with the whole of Hogwarts and company staring at him. He blinked.

Suddenly in a flash of movement he grabbed on to the boy and started screaming.

"NO! CEDRIC! HE KILLED CEDRIC sob CEDRIC!!"

And this was the problem with snacks that had social lives. Such a fucking pain in the neck.

Harry continued to sob away his pain on top of the dead boy.

The screams of the crowd and the sad tugs of his teachers trying to pull him away were barley noticed by him as he contemplated what to do after this. They seem pretty convinced; maybe he should take up acting?

Harry bounced down the halls, his buns moulded with his pants to make the absolute perfection of his tushie. He pumped up his 'Pod and his hood was charmed to hover above his head so to not screw up his hair. Life was sweet.

"Cause every time we touch! I get thi…."

Harry abruptly halted his singing as he rounded the corner. There stood Draco Malfoy glowing golden like a god. His hair seemed to stand on end and his eyes…. Were teal?!

Harry gasped and Draco spun around.

"Potter!" Draco squealed and the glow disappeared and his eyes turned back to normal. Draco then proceeded to whistle and lean casually against the wall.

"What are you doing… in this… neck of the woods… Hmm?" Draco inquired after regaining his composure.

Harry's eyes darted around as he realised that he had missed his station.

"Oh… I was just… you know… on my way to uh…you know… the usual…."

At this Draco forcefully made his way over to Harry, pushing him up against the wall. Draco brought his mouth up to Harry's ear and started to whisper sensually.

"No, I'm afraid I don't know… you'll have to… inform me…." Draco moaned and danced his way around the lobe.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh Draco! This is too soon! I know we were meant to be but…. But…. Give me a break!" Harry pushed Draco off him.

"As if someone such as moa, Harry cunting Potter Could fall for someone such as you! Hohahaha! Hilarious! I think I'm gunna have to… to…. SNEE ACHOO… ze"

Harry blinked and looked around again. He spotted Draco on the floor eyes brimming with tears.

"My love! Whatever doth the matter be?! Who did such I thing to you! Its cruelty is what! Would you like a block of chocolate… cause I'm just full of all kinds of sugar" Harry says then winks.

He sits Draco up and then gets on his knees so that their almost at eye contact.

"WILL YOU BE MY LITTLE CUNT, WILL YOU BE MY THOA…."

Draco plants one kiss on his lips too shut him up.

"Be still my love. Your insane silly! Of course I'll be your little cunt! Well… I'll do what I can considering the circumstances…." Draco looks in his pants….

"We might have to work on it….. But I'm sure it can be done!"

Draco skips down the hallway dragging Harry along with him.

"LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONGS….." was the last heard from them for the next few hours or so.

Severus chose this moment to step out from behind the tapestry.

"It's astounding…. Time is fleeting…. MADNESS is taking its toll…. "

"EVERYBODY WITH ME NOW!!"

"It's just a jump to the left….."

"And a step to the…. DAMN YOU KAKKAROT!!'

You see kiddies. Life is like a lemon drop; Laced with calming draught, yet it's still going to make you cringe when you reach the sour, sour centre.

The End?

I don't exactly know what was going on, I think Harry's a vampire, but I'm bored and tired (its 5:14 am…)

Don't flame, that's so lame (I know. I am a bad, bad child.), and if you do, don't do the cowardly not signed in thing… cus well… whatever.

Share the love and what not.

Oh and btw, hope no ones offended by use of the C word.


End file.
